


the high lasts 0 seconds and the hangover could kill you

by cancerthecrabbo



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Blood and Injury, Broken Bones, Bruises, Concussions, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Friendship, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Medical Inaccuracies, Non-Graphic Violence, Not Canon Compliant, Post-Kingsman: The Golden Circle, Romance, Snark, Unconsciousness, Whump, Whumptober, Whumptober 2018, Worry, does espionage count as a meet-cute?, let's just ignore some canon shall we, we have fun here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-24
Updated: 2018-10-24
Packaged: 2019-08-06 08:10:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16384436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cancerthecrabbo/pseuds/cancerthecrabbo
Summary: The latest operation to save the world from Poppy is successful.  Harry is back, his friends are safe, and so is Tilde.  Now, all that's left is returning home and maybe seducing a certain Statesman.(Day 20 of Whumptober: Concussion)





	the high lasts 0 seconds and the hangover could kill you

**Author's Note:**

> Tilde and Eggsy gave their relationship a trial run and realized they're better off as BFFs.

Eggy’s entire body feels like a bruise.  That’s pretty accurate given the fight that just ended.  At least Tilde is safe, Merlin and Roxy are banged up too, and Harry is back at his side.  Literally.  Harry’s actually holding him up at the moment.  He’s the only thing keeping Eggsy from collapsing into the dirt and passing out.  The world spins nauseatingly, the edges dim and getting darker.  The four of them are limping back to the jet where Ginger Ale is meeting them to patch them up.

 

Eggsy starts to catalog his injuries to try to stay awake.  Charlie had smashed him into the ground over and over again, bruising and cutting him up mercilessly.  The fact that he broke a thick cement pillar with Eggsy’s body isn’t helping matters.  And Charlie’s goddamned prosthetic arm had packed a punch so hard he cracked and most likely broke several ribs.  The only reason it didn’t hurt too much during the fight was the copious amount of adrenaline in his system.  The rush is gone now and so Eggsy is running on fumes – and even those are fading fast.

 

His lungs feel too small or like his chest is too tight to let them expand completely.  Plus, he might have a concussion.  In a nutshell, Eggsy got beat to shit.

 

“Well that was fun wasn’it,” he croaks, voice rasping and setting off a fit of barking coughs.

 

Roxy gives him an exasperated sidelong look and says, “Eggsy- just, shut up for a while, alright?  And no, my idea of ‘fun’ isn’t exactly injecting a psychopathic woman with lethal drugs.  You should rest now, Charlie and the ski lift didn’t do your health wonders.  You look like death warmed over.”

 

“Y’don’t need t’remind me, Roxy, I was the one in…in it…”  He trails off, hacking up a lung.  The coughing leaves him weaker than before.  His legs give out, shoes kicking up dirt.

 

Merlin is at his side before he can touch the ground.  “Did you have to get punched so hard?”  He sounds worried.  Then again, Merlin’s voice is also quite muffled, so Eggsy might be imagining it.  Come to think of it, he might be imaging a lot of things right now, including the way the earth seems to sway under his feet.  The only thing concrete is the way his stomach is cramping.

 

Eggsy can barely see as he lurches forward and vomits onto the bloody sand.  The force of it makes his head throb viciously, his temples feeling fit to burst any second.  Apparently, his stomach isn’t done yet; bile rises in the back of his throat far too quickly for him to resist.  Eggsy’s knees buckle and this time he can’t keep himself from going limp.

 

“Jesus Christ, Eggsy!”  Harry’s voice, while grounding, is far too loud.  The sun is too bright even through his closed eyes.  _Everything_ hurts.  “Open your eyes.  Eggsy, I need to check your pupils.”

 

With a clumsy hand, Eggsy bats Harry’s prodding fingers away and covers his eyes.  With the decreased stimuli, he can focus a little better.  Eggsy is…horizontal now.  Probably.  His head is lying on something soft that might be a lap. 

 

“C’mon, Eggsy, we just want to check that you’re okay.”  Roxy’s voice is significantly less annoyed now. 

 

He groans but lets his hand fall to the side.  The impact on his bruised knuckles travels up his arm and the change in position makes his ribs ache sharply.  It’s harder to breathe lying down but the sheer thought of standing is laughable.  While Eggsy holds back his whimpers and groans, someone takes the opportunity to open his eye carefully.  Everything looks fuzzy but at least now he knows that he’s in Merlin’s lap and Roxy is checking his pupils.  Harry stands to the side, quietly and rapidly telling whoever it is he’s talking to that they need to be extracted _now_.

 

“We need to get him to the extraction site.  There’s nowhere else for the jet to land.  Ginger Ale says they’re five minutes away with medical personnel ready.”  Harry’s silhouette suddenly blocks the sun.  “This might hurt, Eggsy, but just hold on a little bit longer.” 

 

Merlin slides out from under his head.  “I’ve got him.”  An arm slides under his knees and the other under his shoulders.  They lift him up in one steady movement but it still jars his ribs too much.  A strangled shout rises, unbidden.  Merlin quietly apologizes as he strides forward.  For one terrible second, Eggsy thinks he might throw up all over Merlin’s ash-covered suit.  The sensation ebbs but doesn’t fade, leaving him feeling sick and weak as well as in pain. 

 

Eggsy blacks out from then on.  It’s a blessing to feel as though he's underwater, to detach himself somewhat from the pulsing pain all over his body.  He can hear snippets of conversation but only barely.  Merlin’s voice is easiest to make out, given how close he is and the vibrations coming through his chest, but even then Eggsy can’t put the meanings to words quickly enough.  As soon as he hears a sentence, it’s gone again without being processed. 

 

The longer he stays in the limbo – and he’s not quite sure about the passing of time – the more unbearable it is.  He wants to be properly asleep but the terrible discomfort inside and out is too much.  His skin prickles with dried blood.  Eggsy’s hands curl and uncurl uncontrollably where they lie on his chest.  Given the state he’s in, Eggsy can’t hold back the little sounds of pain that come with each step that Merlin takes.

 

Harry’s voice is suddenly much closer.  “We’re here, Eggsy.  Stay awake.”

 

Easier said than done.  Fortunately (or perhaps unfortunately) for him, the trip up the stairs is painful enough to shake him out of the in-between state.  There’s no way he can fall asleep with the change of elevation making his breath stop short in his chest.  He tries to mouth _stop_ so he can take a second and gather himself but Merlin seems to have one goal in mind: get into the jet as soon as possible.

 

Either the lights in the jet are dimmed or Eggsy is dangerously close to fading somewhere that he can’t come back from.  Merlin sets him down ever-so-gently on a mattress.  The lack of warmth sends a pang of fear through him.  He can get so easily lost in the sensations bombarding him; without the help of physical contact, it’s so much easier to just…drift…

 

 

 

_A church filled with people.  All so, so very angry.  Detached but oh so terrified.  A gun goes off._

 

“Eggsy!”

 

His eyes snap open.  Immediately, Eggsy realizes he feels substantially better than before.  He’s more aware and it doesn’t hurt as much to breathe.  In fact, the pain has lessened so much that he can almost take a deep breath and not almost throw up.

 

He’s lying in the same gurney as before with an IV in his arm and a nasal cannula supplying oxygen to his battered body.  Roxy, Harry, and Merlin are gathered around him.  He’s glad to see they’ve all been taken care of as well, bandages over the big wounds and butterfly stitches holding together brows. 

 

“There he is,” Harry smiles, concern betrayed by the tightness of it, “Welcome back.”

 

Eggsy lets his eyes close again, just for a moment.  He opens them again to see that it had wiped the smiles off their faces.  “Hey.  I’m alright.  All ten fingers, see?”  Eggsy wiggles them just to make sure.  “I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.”  The feeling in his stomach that arose at the sight of their worry dissipates when Merlin lets out a dry chuckle.

 

“I should think so.  You were gone for a while.” 

 

Eggsy hums sleepily.  Whatever drugs they’re giving him are amazing.  It doesn’t even matter that the wrap around his ribs is kind of itchy or that he’s shirtless.  “Well, I know you three can’t do anything without me so I’ll try not to make a habit of it.”

 

Roxy rolls her eyes.  Harry and Merlin share a look.  And Eggsy feels much better about falling asleep again in the company of his friends.

**Author's Note:**

> next chapter: Eggsy gets some lovin' from his new bf Tequila and feels much better :D


End file.
